Keeping You Read online

  “But you don’t know anything for sure yet,” Nash said, glancing at the clock over the stove, knowing he needed to jump in the shower if he didn’t want to be late to work. “So let me go. I’ll stay with Raleigh this week, and you and Felicity can stay here. No sense moving her again until we know for sure what’s going on.”

  “Okay.” Aria finally looked up at him, the sadness in her expression enough to make his heart skip a beat.

  Only the knowledge of how much misery could be in their future kept Nash from scooping her up in his arms and doing his best to kiss all that sadness away.

  “When will we see you?” she asked.

  “How about we meet up after I get off work on Friday? I’ll come here, and we can talk.”

  Aria nodded. “We have an event Friday afternoon, but I’m free Friday night. I’ll leave Felicity with my mom for an overnight so we can have some privacy.”

  “Sounds good,” Nash said, though it didn’t really. A day ago, a night alone with Aria would have been enough to keep a spring in his step all week, but now…

  Friday could be the night they ended it all, the night they decided that the love they’d found couldn’t make up for everything they stood to lose.

  “All right,” Nash said, voice thick with emotion. “I’ll see you then.”

  He hurried from the room, suddenly feeling like a prisoner in his own house, needing to get out and get some space from all the conflicting feelings swirling inside of him. Ten minutes later, he had filled a small suitcase with clothes and toiletries, and was heading for the front door.

  “Didn’t you forget something?” Aria was on the floor in the living room, playing blocks with Felicity, but could obviously see that Nash wasn’t dressed for work.

  “I’ll shower at the station. There’s a shower off the weight room,” Nash said, already reaching for the door. “Figured I might as well get going.”

  “Okay,” Aria said softly. “Goodbye.”

  “Goodbye,” Nash echoed as he stepped out into the August heat, hating how final the word sounded as it hung in the air.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Aria spent most of Monday—her one day off—trying to keep from bursting into tears in front of Felicity. She succeeded, until bedtime, when Felicity crawled out into the living room after her bath, obviously looking for Nash, and became upset when she couldn’t find him.

  Nash had become a part of their bedtime ritual, and Felicity wasn’t the type who liked her rituals disrupted.

  Aria wasn’t either.

  By the time Felicity sat down in the middle of the living room and burst into tears, Aria was already sniffling. She tried to comfort the baby as best she could, but even after three books and a long rock in the rocking chair by her crib, Felicity still wasn’t completely calm. She fussed when Aria laid her in her crib and threw her bunny to the end of the mattress instead of settling down to chew an ear as she usually would, clearly displeased with the way things were going.

  “Join the club, sweetie,” Aria whispered as she turned out the light and headed down the hall to the big, lonely bed in Nash’s room.

  It might truly be Nash’s room again soon, if he decided Aria and Felicity weren’t worth the sacrifices he would have to make to keep them both in his life.

  That’s not what he’s worried about, and you know it.

  Aria sighed as she went to brush her teeth, so exhausted from crying she figured she might as well go to bed early.

  The inner voice was right. She knew why Nash was concerned. They were both very close with their families. The thought of being estranged from her dad for more than a few days—which Aria highly doubted would happen; Daddy always came around to realizing he’d been a jerk and was quick to apologize when he did—was enough to fill her with panic. Each member of her family was like a part of her, a limb she could probably live without, but wouldn’t want to. The loss of any one of the Marchs—Mom, Dad, Lark, or Melody—would haunt her for the rest of her life.

  And Nash was just as close, if not closer, with his clan. And what about Felicity and the other kids she and Nash had dreamed about? What if their relationships with their extended family suffered because certain parties weren’t thrilled by Nash and Aria’s marriage?

  Aria had so many wonderful memories of summer parties and winter holidays and long Saturday play sessions with her cousins, Emily and Elsbeth, her Aunt Tina’s daughters. They had been like sisters to the March girls while they were all growing up. Aria had been devastated when Emily and Elsbeth’s father took a job at a software company in Arkansas when they were all in middle school. Seeing them two or three times a year just wasn’t enough. They were family, a part of her, members of her tribe who she would do anything for.

  What if Felicity never knew what that was like? All because Aria had picked the wrong man twice?

  “No,” Aria mumbled around a mouth full of toothpaste before spitting emphatically into the sink.

  This was ridiculous. Nash could never be the wrong man. He was everything she had ever wanted, and more wonderful with Felicity than Aria had imagined a man could be with a child who wasn’t his by blood. Nash was the real deal, one in a million. She didn’t need a week to know that she wanted to be with him, no matter what hardships stood in their way.

  “And you are not going to lose him,” Aria said to her reflection, bolstered by the steadiness in her voice. “You are going to quit crying like a big baby, get a good night’s sleep, and get up tomorrow morning prepared to make this work.”

  Pep talk completed, Aria changed into her pajamas and headed for bed, where she slept and dreamed of a little boy with Nash’s hair, and her eyes. The dream was so real that Aria woke up even more determined.

  Maybe it was crazy, but it felt as if there were more souls on the line than just hers and Felicity’s. There was that little boy, too, and any other children who might be waiting to join her and Nash’s family.

  Because they were a family. Newly formed, yes, but still as important as their families of origin. She and Nash and Felicity and their other precious children they had yet to meet were important, and worth fighting for, and Aria was ready to do battle.

  ***

  Before the corporate meeting she and her sisters were catering Tuesday evening, Aria stopped by her father’s office in the back of the new Bob and Sue’s Smokehouse location.

  Betty, Aria’s lawyer, had called that morning with the news that Liam had dropped his suit and agreed to sign papers granting Aria full, unequivocal legal and physical custody of Felicity, provided he be allowed supervised visitation when or if he chose to be part of his daughter’s life. Thanks to the PI Aria’s dad had hired, Liam had no choice but to capitulate.

  Aria was grateful and wanted to tell her father thank you again in person, but she also had another important discussion to get out of the way.

  “So you know the other reason I stopped by, Daddy,” she said when she was finished giving him the good news about Liam.

  “Yes, I do.” Bob sighed a long sigh. “I’m sorry for showing my bad side to your husband. You were right. I should have kept my thoughts to myself, and I’m willing to tell Nash I’m sorry for speaking out of turn.”

  “That’s really good to hear, Dad.”

  “I don’t want to lose you,” he said. “And after talking with your mother last night… Well, it’s obvious the way you feel about Geary is different than any other boy you’ve been with.”

  “It is, I really love him,” she said, rising from her chair, knowing she had to hustle to get to the venue on time.

  Bob ran a hand through what was left of his graying blond hair as he stood to walk her to the door. “And if you love the man that much, there must be something to love. You’re a smart girl, and your mom and I love you and we both just want you to be happy. If Nash makes you happy and continues to treat you well, then you won’t hear another peep from me.”

  “Thanks, Daddy,” Aria said. “That means a lot.”
/>   It did, not just that he was willing to apologize to Nash, but that he finally trusted her judgment. Aria had been fooling herself, thinking things with Liam were ever going to work out, but she wasn’t fooling herself now. She was seeing things more clearly than she had in a long time, and she didn’t see any good that could come from her and Nash going their separate ways.

  Still, despite the productive conversation with her dad, she was quieter than normal on the job Tuesday night. It didn’t take Lark and Melody long to sense that something was wrong.

  “You’re not sparkling,” Melody observed in a sad voice. “Did I dull your giddy love glow? I didn’t mean to, I was just in a terrible mood the other day.”

  “No, it’s not you,” Aria said, forcing a smile. “Nash and I are going through something, but everything is going to be okay.”

  “But you two are perfect for each other,” Lark said, her tone leaving no doubt that she believed every word. “What could possibly have happened?”

  “Daddy,” Aria said, triggering a moan of understanding from her sisters. “And Nash’s mom hasn’t been on her best behavior either, but like I said, we’re going to work it out.”

  “Good,” Lark said. “Because I’m already planning a special treat for you and Nash at my wedding.”

  “No, Lark,” Aria said. “That’s your and Mason’s day. I don’t want to intrude.”

  “Oh, please.” Lark waved a hand in the air and laughed. “You won’t be intruding. The more love to celebrate, the better. And maybe Melody will have a special someone by then. At the very least, I can aim the bouquet in her direction.”

  “No, thanks,” Melody said with a nervous laugh. “I think I should stay single for a while. Probably safer than way.”

  Aria and Lark both turned to shoot her a strange look.

  “I just…I’m enjoying being alone,” Melody said, suddenly very intent upon arranging bread rolls in a basket. “I need time to myself to sort out some things. About myself.”

  “Okay,” Lark said, raising one eyebrow in Aria’s direction as if to ask, what the heck is that about?

  Aria shrugged. Melody seemed happier than she’d been the other day. Maybe time to herself was what she needed. Time to yourself could be valuable stuff, but Aria had had enough time alone.

  By Wednesday night she was so lonely for Nash her chest felt bruised all over, and by Thursday night, it was all she could do to keep from calling him and hanging up, just to hear the sound of his voice.

  Instead, she called her mother. She’d been listening to the latest family gossip for almost an hour when Sue let it slip that Nash had been by to see Daddy earlier, and that the talk seemed to have gone very well.

  “It did?” Aria asked, jumping up to pace the kitchen floor, making Felicity, who was lingering over her supper in the high chair, cry out in surprise.

  “What did Daddy say?” Aria asked, shooting the baby a comforting smile. “What did Nash say?”

  “I don’t know,” Sue said. “Dad just said they came to an understanding.”

  “An understanding!” Aria screeched. “That could mean anything, Mom. That could mean they’ve come to an understanding that they will hate each other until the end of all time. It could—”

  Aria was interrupted by the sound of a doorbell. She froze. Who would be coming by at six-thirty at night except…

  “Mom, I have to go,” Aria said, grinning as she headed for the door. “I think Nash is here.”

  She hung up and dropped the phone on the back of the couch as she rushed for the front door, throwing it open to find Joy Geary on her front step.

  Aria’s smile curdled faster than milk left out overnight.

  “Hi,” she said, feeling awkward. “Nash isn’t here right now, but I—”

  “I know,” Joy said. “He was at my house earlier. He asked me to stop by. Is this a good time?” She glanced over Aria’s shoulder into the house.

  “Um, sure.” Aria stepped back, motioning Joy inside. “Felicity is just finishing up her supper in the kitchen. Can I make you a glass of tea or something?”

  “Yes, please,” Joy said in an almost pleasant voice. “Nash has some lemon tea I like.”

  “Great.” Aria put the kettle on, while Joy got settled at the table at a chair next to Felicity’s high chair. Felicity greeted the new arrival with a happy squeal and Joy smiled the first real smile Aria had ever seen on the woman’s face. Instantly, Nash’s mother became a hundred times prettier.

  “Nash has your smile,” Aria said, the words out before she thought better of them.

  Joy turned to her, smile fading only the slightest bit. “He does. He also has my stubborn streak. That’s why I told him he had to go talk to your daddy, even if he didn’t want to. It’s not good enough just to get my head on straight,” she said, with a wink in Felicity’s direction that made the baby giggle.

  Aria paused, too surprised to say anything for a moment. Was that a joke? Had Joy the joyless made a joke at her own expense?

  “My daughter called me yesterday,” Joy said, talking to Aria, but eyes still fixed on Felicity, taking the piece of peach the baby offered to share with her with a graciousness that made Aria’s heart feel a little lighter. “Apparently my son is a miserable wreck without you.”

  That made Aria’s heart feel even lighter still.

  “And that’s at least partly my fault, and I’m sorry,” Joy said, shifting her attention back to Aria. “Mamas always think they know best, but…sometimes we’re wrong. I’m sorry I said those things to you the other night.”

  “It’s all right,” Aria said, more than willing to forgive and forget.

  “No, it isn’t,” Joy said. “I was scared Nash was going to get hurt, but I was the one who ended up hurting him. I should have taken the time to see how he really felt about you. If I had, I would have seen in a second that he’s so deep in love nothing I could say would change his mind about it anyway.”

  “I love him, too,” Aria said, pouring Joy’s tea and her own and bringing them both to the table. “I promise you I do, Joy.” She sat down across from her mother-in-law and wrapped her hands around her mug. “And I promise I will do everything in my power to make him happy. I know our marriage was sudden and we haven’t been together long, but I know Nash and I are going to last.”

  Joy glanced down, watching the steam rise from her cup, the intimacy of the conversation seeming to make her a little nervous. “I married my husband six weeks after we met. I was only sixteen years old, and my mama swore I’d be back home in a month, but Pete and I will have been married for thirty-two years this December. Sometimes, you just know.”

  Aria smiled. “Yeah, you do.”

  They sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping their tea while Felicity shoved the rest of the peach cubes on her plate into her mouth, and Aria thought of the best way to welcome Nash home tomorrow evening.

  Within minutes, she had an idea.

  “Joy, what’s Nash’s favorite kind of cake?”

  “Red velvet with cream cheese icing,” Joy said fondly. “He’s had that same cake for every birthday since he was eight years old.”

  Red velvet with cream cheese icing. Aria could work with that.

  And if she started tonight…

  By the time she and Joy finished their tea, Aria had an idea of what she’d like to do. By the time she walked Joy to the door, she was mentally checking through her list of ingredients, and by the time Felicity was ready for bed, the batter was mixed and ready to go into the oven.

  Aria stayed up half the night baking, but was still up and out of bed early the next morning to do some last minute shopping, determined to give Nash a welcome home he would never forget.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Friday was the longest workday of Nash’s entire career. By the time three o’clock rolled around he was checking the clock every five minutes, so anxious to be home he couldn’t sit still for more than a few seconds at a time.

  His mo
m said her visit with Aria had gone well, and Nash felt good about the conversation he’d had with Bob March—they had agreed to be mutually respectful, even if they could never be friends—but he hadn’t talked to Aria all week.

  He had no idea what she was thinking.

  Maybe the time apart had made her realize that she’d jumped into their relationship too soon, and she would want to take a step back. Maybe she thought he was an asshole for declaring a time out, and had decided to pack her things and leave.

  Nash certainly felt like an asshole. All the time out had done was make it abundantly clear that he was more hooked on Aria March than exercise and late night ice cream combined.

  The thought of living the rest of his life without her was soul crushing. He’d almost called her a hundred times, but had forced himself to stay away from the phone. She might still be thinking, and he should have the self-discipline to give her some space, especially considering he was the one who had said they needed time apart.

  “Stupid asshole,” he muttered.

  “What?” Kelly, one of the new IT staff, pushed through the glass door to his office. “Were you speaking to me, Captain?”

  “No, sorry,” Nash said. “Just…talking to myself. Did you need something?”

  “Just wanted to let you know that we’re making good progress,” Kelly said. “The new system should be up and running by next week.”

  “Good.” Nash glanced at the clock over Kelly’s shoulder. Still another hour and a half to go.

  Damn.

  “Anything else?” he asked, his irritation with the clock audible in his voice.

  “Yes. Everyone outside wants you to go home early,” Kelly said, making Nash’s eyebrows lift as his gaze shifted back to her face. “They say you’re being a huge grouch, and you should just start the weekend early.”

  “And they sent you to deliver the message?” Nash scanned the room of desks outside his office, but not a single office or staff member met his narrow gaze. Everyone seemed to be working especially hard this afternoon, in fact.